You cannot imagine my despair when I reached the age of eleven and realized that I am a muggle.

You mean I really can't do magic?!  Dagnabit.

I'm a sucker for funny sayings that have wonderfully profound meaning.  Or maybe I just try to attach profound meaning to funny sayings so I feel more justified and mature about using them in casual conversation.  Whatever.  Point is:  I haven't got a drop of magical blood in my veins.  And what does that have to do with weight loss, you ask?  It means that I, and you, can't use magic to fix our problems.  Pills, potions, spells don't actually work in our world.  Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans are just Jelly Bellys with nasty flavors.  Sigh.

Okay, that's my wise, deep thought for today.  Now, back to work.