I have reached a sort of cross-roads in my quest for health. I'm at my goal weight, and maintaining (within about five pounds). But I find myself slipping back into old habits. I must have eaten half a bag of cherry cordial Hershey's kisses yesterday. I haven't exercised in several weeks. I know I'm still doing better than I used to- before I would have eaten the whole bag of kisses. But I'm not satisfied with where I am right now. I have reached lifetime status at Weight Watchers- except that I have to keep my weight no more than two pounds above my goal. Right now I'm about four pounds above my goal. Major dilemma. Do I struggle to get those four pounds off so I can keep going for free? Do I decide that WW has given me all it really has to offer and we part ways? Parting ways is a little frightening for me. What if I forget all I have learned and end up undoing all the good I have done? If I keep going to WW, I can try new different things- like trying to learn to be an intuitive eater- and still have the safety net of WW to fall back on.
You want to know a secret? Wherever you go, there you are. I love this saying. Not only is it funny, but it has deep, subtle intelligence. You can't get away from yourself. You can change a little bit here, and a little bit there, but you're still you. My life will keep moving forward no matter what I decide to try to do for my health. I will still have kiddos to feed, a hubby to love, and bathrooms to clean. How I eat is just a small part of who I am. I want to be able to stop obsessing over numbers on the scale, but I still need to be vigilant.